Happy Holidays

A few short words on this, I apologize in advance for ranting. Maybe our upforpoker boys might like to tackle this one on tri-clops.

When I was a kid, the phrase "Happy Holidays" was everywhere, but no one thought ill of it. This is not a new phrase. Why is our culture suddenly so fucking bent out of shape about an old phase wishing a happy holiday season to everyone?? GROW UP RELIGIOUS RIGHT!!! Try being inclusive of others. Christians stole this damned holiday from the Pagans anyways. Yule, Saturnalia, and the Winter Solstice were all celebrated at this time of year before Christians took it over in a fit of Triumphalism. No one even really knows when Jesus was born anyway. Then there's the Jewish time of Hanukkah. And, well, Kwanzza. Even if you don't celebrate any of these, there is still New Years Day.

But the point is, Happy Holidays is INCLUSIVE to all of these. Everyone is eligible to have a happy holiday. Not everyone is qualified to have a Kool Kwanzza, or a Super Saturnalia, or Merry Christmas. Can't we all just get along, and quit bitching about the words people use to wish you good times?

Christ spoke of tolerance, why can't Christians??

Jesus!



And now I apologize for not posting much about poker. I was in a postcoital refractory period after the WPBTgasm I had, and needed a rest from all things poker. BadBlood, of course is here to get me started off again in the new year with a BadBlood's New Years Day Tourney '06. The brand new bouncing baby bankroll begins, January 1. Right after a trip to the ATM.

Vegas or Bust!!! How about both.

It's impossible to communicate how much fun I had losing my bankroll. It was a small bankroll anyway, which was part of the reason it was so easy to lose. Note to self: Find a way to bring more cash next time, or never, ever play No Limit in Vegas with a tiny bankroll.

I had a couple of bad beats at the tables that I may mention later, but the trip was definately +EV. I think I even learned a few things about my poker game. I certainly learned to wait for another home game to play G-Rob. There's just no point in going all the way to Vegas to lose money to him. BTW, you're a bastard G-Rob. I always think you are bluffing when you aren't, and I fold to you when you are.

The walk over to storm the castle was a mission of the utmost importance. I had a blast, but I really wish I'd have had a little more cash, so I could've played a little longer there. I have never been so card dead as when we stormed the castle. I played for four hours with only two pocket pairs--both of which were dominated, and lost me money. Most of my hands were 73, 94, 82, 63, 42, 32, and, of course, one of my best hands of the evening, 96o. I never even got the hammer. I changed tables three times in an effort to change my luck, to no avail. I was soooooooo card dead. Regardless, it would've been nice to sit at the TV table with Wil. I signed up for 2-6 again after a break, but didn't get placed there.

All the bloggers were fun to hang with. Those that I hung with (outside the GVegas crew) most memorably were probablyIggy, EasyCure and wife, STB, Poker Princess, April, and Tanya. Tanya and I got pretty drunk right before the Tournament. I think this contributed to her Gigli Award winning performance. She was fun. The highlight of drinking with Tanya was making a Dial-A-Shot call with AlCantHang while everyone was signing up. Al is in the building, and we are still Dial-A-Shotting with him. Oh, and tipping her (in her cleavage) after she busted out first and started waiting tables.

Iggy. Iggy. Iggy. That is one fucking cool ass dwarf. What more can be expressed in words. Seriously. I think I have a man crush. Who doesn't?? Iggy is just that fucking cool.

Runnig so poorly, I railbirded a bit with easycure and wife. They were very nice, and easy to talk with.

I see this trip report is going to become one of those stream of conscience rambling posts, so I'll cut it short now and pick it up again later. Just suffice it to say, I couldn't have had a better time losing all my money.

Thanks Otis, and oooooh Pictures

Otis offered up some great advice to those of us (and I hope I'm not the only one) who are low-rolling in Vegas this weekend. I think I'm bringing enough money to get by without too much problem, but will definately have to watch my bankroll.

So, I've found a couple of pictures online of Chilly , and finally scored a picture of the elusive Iggy.

Chilly:


and a closeup of Chilly's third nipple:


and lastly, the find of the year, an actual photo of IGGY:









I CAN'T WAIT TO BE THERE. Touchdown thursday at 1:59

Prebinging at the Mark

Otis almost fell down. There was some sort of Weeble Wobble force field keeping him upright. It defied the laws of physics.

Twenty people were in this tourney that outgrew G-Rob's house and moved to The Mark, including all three members of UpForPoker (good to see CJ again), Wes the Big Pirate (sick wife and kids, but he made it), Poker Btch and The Mark (It's their House), Shep Tilstein and Wolverine (my brother and nephew), Tommy the Axeman, Mr and Mrs BadBlood, and others. I was fortunate enough to draw a seat at the B table--without our most aggresssive players, G-Rob and the Mark. And I had The Bluffing Firefighter on my right.

At the A-Table: Within 15 minutes, G-Rob's aggression payed off. For someone else. G-Rob was out. You cant blame him as he lost flopped set over flopped set. Another fifteen minutes later, The Mark joined him. The Wolverine had a huge stack.

At the B-Table: By this point I had crippled The Bluffing Firefighter by slow playing a folpped set of 5's and calling his all-in. I had also played the hammer three times, losing a small chunk when a two flopped with other garbage. Over the course of the evening, I had the hammer at least 7 times. I played it every time but once, when I faced an all-in raise ahead of me. It never payed off well, mostly taking down the pot immediatly post-flop.

Here's the problem, when G-Rob and The Mark busted out an early 1st and 2nd, they proceeded to carry shots of SoCo around to everyone, making certain to give me a shot EVERY time. Somehow a drunken TeamScott managed to place in the money at 4th place. I think I busted out with the Hammer, but I really don't remember. Drunk I was.

And though I wasn't even close to falling down, I was still more drunk than Otis. I have noticed a tendancy to party heavily shortly before a planned party. I think the expectations of the partying, makes me have a premature edrunkulation. So that's what I did. I do think that this technique helps me out when the real party arrives, as I have partially gotten it out of my sytem.

But I can't believe I ended up positive for the evening, placing 4th in the tourney, and making a small amount in a cash game I can't even remember. I also won a $5 prop bet with Otis, when Badblood proves once again that his huge guns are for decorative purposes only, as he loses to the Mark arm wrestling.

It's funny, what I remember most throughout the evening was the twinkle in Otis' eyes as he talked about our upcoming trip to Vegas. I could see his excitement and felt it myself. Maybe his light spirit is what held him up, and kept him from falling.

Oh my God, Hits!

I sent out an email to a few fellow and far superior bloggers saying "Who's a guy gotta blow to get a link, guys? Well, my cheeks are sore and cramping, my lips are chapped, my knees are killing me, but I got a few hits today. Luckily I had no problem blowing the guys, because we all know that Blogs are Gay. It's cool to have friends.

Thank you guys, and especially Pauly, who not only was kind enough to give me a link, but pointed me out in his latest entry. If you're going to beg for links like a whore, you must give thanks to the pimp daddy.

ENOUGH OF THAT,

And on to talk of the Winter Classic. Things I want to do. I'm not one to really set a schedule, but I do want to achieve a few objectives.

1) Go to downtown Vegas. I have only been to Vegas once, and never made it downtown. I figure I have to do it sometime.

B) Play in the HORSE or Omaha H/L games set up by Joaquin.

3rd) Get drunk with Al and Daddy.

Quaternarily) Try not to act like a nerd around Wil

Also) Help Otis up when he falls down.

And) Try my best to Increase my meager bankroll. I know it wont happen, and that everyone feels their bankroll is more meager than they'd like, but try anyway. Or get lucky as hell.

Penultimately) Play a $100 NLHE cash game.

Lastly) Stay out of trees.