Poker and Liquor

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Martinis

I order another beer and Blood has more martini. This makes me laugh. What makes a man switch to martinis? I mean, if you're some douchebag suit and you have to impress the minions...that's one thing. But when a turbine counter gets all fancy, that's just odd.


Not much time to post, Shep and I are heading out on a canoe trip to the Smoke Hole area in West Virginia, but I thought I'd quickly comment on some accusations G-Rob was making towards the Martini.

First off, Vodka Martinis are NOT Martinis. Martinis are made with Gin. That said, whatever drink you call it when you fuck up a martini with vodka, well they're pretty good too. However, since Vodka is a mostly flavorless liquor, we'll have to add one Ghey point.

Blood prefers the Grey Goose variety of Vodkatini. They Ghey Goose is sooo smooth, it has no bite, no kick, no . . . character. Add one Gay Goose Point.

Bloods recent post was entitled "Shaken, not Stirred", and I have this to say on that matter: When you stir a Martini, you get the drink cold. When you shake a Martini, you break up all the edges off the ice into the drink. This gets it cold, but it also waters it down a bit. Watered down Martini?? That's right, add 1 more Geigh Point.

Blood gets Two Geigh Points for sharing with his buddy, Clot. That's just queer.

Beer is never gay. Well, a Peach Lambic is, but most beers aren't. On the other hand, a martini is generally a very strong, non gay drink. G-Rob should not be dissing the Martini. The only problem is, James Bond and BadBlood queer them up a bit.

Nuff said.

5 Comments:

At 12:09 PM GMT-5, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you! This is a fantastic analysis of Martinis and whatever awful thing is made with Vodka. This also applies to Manhattans.

Bravo.

 
At 10:22 AM GMT-5, Blogger Fat Dan said...

Poker and Liquor...i finally get the title. Great stuff. Gay Goose Point..brilliant.

 
At 9:32 AM GMT-5, Blogger TeamScottSmith said...

Oh, and for the record, gays generally pride themselves on good taste. So, when I say you queered up a beverage, that's not necessarily a criticism. I mean, cosmopolitans are tasty and strong, it's just that they aren't macho manly beverages. And we are talking about BadBlood, who has huge guns and hits women with chairs.

What I mean to say is "Not that there's anything wrong with that."

 
At 8:57 AM GMT-5, Blogger cc said...

I can't believe you're just finding out that BadBlood is gay--why do you think I jumped at the chance to play in his home game?

 
At 8:38 AM GMT-5, Blogger Joaquin "The Rooster" Ochoa said...

It's all about the Dirty Goose with Three...dirty goose with three olives is da' shitz.

 

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